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Some Advice on Divorce

Guys – When you’ve decided that you can’t live with her any longer, resist the temptation to just leave without so much as a change of clothes.  You might think that you’ll swing by on occasion to pick up some of your stuff until you eventually get it all, but you’ll be wrong.  What’s really going to happen is that she’ll change the locks and hold your stuff hostage for the next 5 years, and that includes the gumball machine collection.

Women - When your ex-husband-to-be offers you the house (paid for) and everything in it, and all he wants is his gumball machine collection and half the cash, the right thing to do is to take it.  Hiring two attorneys plus an accountant and pissing away most of the money over the next five years won’t net you a better deal.  Instead what will happen is the judge will tire of seeing your face and hearing your endless whining.  He’ll order the house to be sold and most of the proceeds to be given to your ex-husband, along with the gumball machine collection.  So now you have no house, little cash, big fat bills from both of your attorneys, and where are you going to live now?